Why Life Is So Weird. Part 1

Once upon a time a young lez from NJ went to college in Boston. On her first day of Ear Training class (it was music college) she noticed a girl in the first row wearing some sort of race car/racing team shirt. NJ got excited because she figured this was a lez too...for sure, who wears race team t-shirts to music school? Come on, what a gay. But, when the teacher had them go around and say their names and where they were from NJ learned that Racecar girl was from Texas... Boo! Of course anyone from Texas would wear a shirt like that, she would have to go looking for lesbian friends elsewhere.

A few weeks into the class Racecar moved to the last row where NJ was sitting and started to chat with her. The two decided to go to lunch together. While at lunch Racecar mentioned that she lived with her girlfriend off campus and that NJ should come over and hang out. NJ of course didn't waste any time in telling Racecar that she was a lesbian too! The two girls then discovered that being gay was really exciting and that it was fun to have gay friends. They decided that they would hang out all the time.

The most superior food.

Cheese.

Hopefully this will clear up some questions about greatness.

10 Reasons Why Cheese Is the Most Superior Food:
1. it's delicious and comes in so many different flavors
2. it is one of the only foods that actually tastes better without seasoning
3. you don't need any sort of vehicle to get it into your mouth (cheese stands alone)
4. it can be eaten with the fingers or with a fork, spoon, knife
5. it can be cubed, crumbled, melted, spread, sliced, grilled, fried, battered
6. it makes a good pairing with both wine & beer
7. it is a brilliant contributing part to every meal of the day (breakfast, lunch, dinner, & snacks)
8. what else really goes with crackers... and crackers are good
9. it actually makes other food better
10. cheese is the main ingredient in the best dish ever... QUESO

All Friendships Should Begin With One Question

It's officially wedding season, and all the dykes are in hiding trying to avoid the inevitable question, "Will you be my bridesmaid!?!" At least, I am.

I'm not unfriendly or party-shy, but only attempting to dodge one of my biggest fears: bridesmaid dresses. I have a picture of myself at age 10 wearing one such bridesmaid dress. My shoulders hang low, and I'm comfortably slouched, causing me to appear like a small boy awkwardly posing in his sister's dress.

My step sister is getting married in a few months. At first, she called to tell me I can wear whatever I want, as long as it's black. I asked, "So you mean I can wear pants, right?" She assured me, "Of course you can wear pants. I want everyone to be comfortable, and not have to spend a lot of money on an outfit." I was so happy to call her my step-sister, I didn't even care that I was going to have to fly to Texas on New Years Eve, miss out of every party, and fly back the day after the wedding. And now, all of a sudden, I'm supposed to not "stand out" too much. Apparently now I have "great legs", and would look stunning in a dress or at the very least, a tube top with pants. A TUBE TOP. TOOB.

This is why, as suggested by my friend Elspeth, all friendships should begin with one question, "Is there any chance we will stay friends long enough for you to get married, and if we do, what will I have to wear? I'm going to need that in writing."

Oh, and welcome to the blog. I'm Katy, and that thar other one is Allie.